Hello rustlovers and welcome to The Free model T!

Today we delve into the world of obsolete cars. That’s right, I got my first Pontiac!

Recently an old friend of mine Mr. Bulldog got a fantastic job with the athletics department at Alabama State and celebrated by, you know, moving there. For some reason he and his wife decided not to make the drive in their 2000 Pontiac Grand Prix that hadn’t run in a few months. It had in fact not shifted in a few months. No, I don’t mean it hadn’t moved … well that too, I mean the shift selector was actually broken out of the car.

It really was an unusual problem with an unusual cause. You see, the key was stuck in the ignition so thinking the car was not going fully into park, the shift handle would get some… lets call them love taps. After enough tapping it finally broke off. The actual cause of the problem was a Honda sized battery that was struggling to run this cars many electrical systems including the anti-theft system. As the battery failed the car would still crank but it wouldn’t let the key out.

The first thing I did was put in the correct battery (I actually HAD one so that was a nice freebie) and drive the car home. What? How? Well the shift handle just pulls a cable so that’s what I did.

$500 is always a deal for a running driving car that’s currently registered AND passes emissions testing but Pontiac is no longer in business and they don’t sell well in southern California so I would have to proceed with caution: no dealer parts and no big spending.

After checking out the car I had a list of things that were wrong:

-low coolant light on

-stickers all over the windows

-shift selector

-rear windows don’t go down

-cruise control doesn’t work

-long cranking time

-traction control light on

-Driver’s seat caved in

Easy! I’ll just buy a new shifter at the dealer! Oh, wait the dealer is boarded up. I’ll just fix it!

The first thing I did was order a pair of rear window regulators on eBay then I pulled out the center console and took out the shifter.    Now the shifter in this car is a hollow metal tube that contains a pin and spring to disengage the park lock. The pin actually goes into a big plastic electronic box that locks the shifter while the key is out (shift lock solenoid) and the whole assembly hinges on a 3/8″ thick steel pin that’s peened into place.  The whole thing is then wrapped in rrrich corrrinthian leather, er, I mean vinyl and plastic.
Since the shifter was broken at the welds right by the plastic electronics I pulled the entire assembly out of the car and dremeled off the heads of the pins. Once removed I was left with nothing but steel. I straightened the bent parts as well as I could then clamped them in place and welded them back together. Unable to reinstall the ground off pins or find hardware that fight tightly enough to prevent a floppy shifter I tapped GIANT cotter pins through the appropriate components then bent them into place and cut off the excess. Nice. Tight. Not going anywhere.

The cruise control was easy as the plastic cable end was simply broken where it connects to the throttle. It was 2/3 intact so I melted 2 tiny holes into it with a paper clip, installed it, then cinched down the paper clip through the holes and twisted it off. Permanent fix.

Now I don’t know much about traction control but I know that it utilizes wheel speed sensors to monitor traction and corrects power if it senses a wheel turning the wrong speed. Sort of like antilock brakes but in reverse. I would normally immediately suspect a front wheel speed sensor but the ABS light would be on too. On a hunch I peeked under the car and sure enough, the wires were dangling. I flipped the key on and off a couple of times and the ABS light never illuminated. It was burned out.

After fixing the wires I took the car for a little drive but the traction control was still not working. I looked carefully under the other side of the car and the wires were sheared off right at the hub assembly. I decided to let this slide too. (Oops, accidental pun, sorry) It shouldn’t be too hard to sell such a nice car with no traction control.

Feeling pretty discouraged I pulled the drivers seat out. This I know I can fix. The bottom structure of the seat was foam supported by a bunch of tiny metal wires stretched between 2 metal rods that were held up by springs. One of these rods was in pieces and the foam pad was ripped and hanging.

     I used 3m spray glue to connect the foam back together, then for added strength I glued a rag to the foam. I straightened and welded together the pieces of broken rod and reassembled the seat and reinstalled.

As for the long crank time, I didn’t find a cause until a perspective buyer test drover the car only to have the fuel pressure regulator start spraying fuel all over the engine when we parked. Boo. I bought one and changed it.

This Pontiac is a classic example of the car that was let go. As cheap, easy, little things broke they slowly piled into a car that was viewed as worthless. Please note that I only actually spent $110 on parts. Yes I could spend another $160 on hub assemblies and I would if it were my car. My point is that if you keep up with the little things as they break your car will stay nice and you will have a good feeling about it for a LONG time. This car runs great, it drives great and the body is perfect. The problems really were all minor

     This car reminds me of the Purple Monster. My friend called me one day and said he had had enough of his purple Chrysler Concorde. I’ll never forget the phone call:  “First the windows quit, then the seat broke, and now the transmission broke! The icing on the cake? The speedometer quit at the same time!” I told him not to worry, he just needed a $17 dollar speed sensor and I could fix it for him in 5 minutes. “Fix it for yourself!” he replied “I just bought a Hummer.”

This is how I get free cars.

Until next time Rustlovers, sweat the small stuff!

Any Detroit readers want to buy a California Pontiac? Great shape. No Rust. Could use hub assemblies.